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I tried my first Girl Scout Cookie today, a Caramel Delight. They were sitting in the break room by my office, staring at me, as I was trying to decide between a cup of coffee or green tea. I decided on a hazelnut coffee and as the Flavia* machine was spurting out my coffee I decided to try one of the cookies to see if they were really as good as people always said. The first bite delivered the tastes to my tongue. I felt the sugar enter my blood stream as my pupils dilated Requiem-for-a-Dream style. I had to tackle myself, internally, to keep from grabbing the rest of the box, running into my office, hiding under my desk, and shoving the rest of the cookies into my mouth while rubbing the sticky sugar residue all over my face in the process. Caveman-like grunts would ensue. I grabbed my cup of coffee with shaking hands and whimpered back to my office. I probably need to check myself into rehab now, but at least I have found out that I can never order Girl Scout Cookies from anyone, ever.
* Flavia is a giant robot coffee maker that lets you pick from about 4 billion different flavors of coffee or tea or hot chocolate and then makes single servings of your choice. When I first started my job I spent about 3 months fearing this machine and not stepping anywhere near it. I didn’t want to look stupid trying to figure out how to make a cup of coffee. Finally one day I saw someone using it and watched them intently without seeming too creepy. Then when no one was around, I experimented pushing all of the different choices and now I can have whatever I feel like that day.
So to recap, having five different flavors of coffee and tea each day = good; Girl Scout Cookies = bad.
Filed under: the adventures
29 Responses to “the devil incarnate”
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DG Says:
OK, you lost me at Girl Scout Cookies. Do you know I have been craving the hell out of them recently? And then I read something where you can pre-order them online before they officially go on sale in March? CRAZY.
January 30th, 2008 at 1:30 pm -
Tina Says:
Holy crap, don’t tell me stuff like that!
January 30th, 2008 at 1:32 pm -
Paula Says:
I’ve never had a girlscout cookie either and now i’m upset as i feel like I’m missing out. My mouth is watering, I feel like the cookie monster, inside my head there’s a deep voice going “COOKIES! COOKIES!” Probably a good thing I don’t have access to any!
January 30th, 2008 at 1:55 pm -
nicoleantoinette Says:
Oh wow, I haven’t had a Girl Scout cookie in YEARS but now? all I can think about is a big box of Thin Mints. Jeez. Thanks…
January 30th, 2008 at 2:00 pm -
Kiraa Says:
1st girl scout cookie evar? How is that possible!
Plus, I’m insanely jealous of your coffee machine. My lame-cheap-ass work won’t even buy plain regular coffee. Oh woe.
January 30th, 2008 at 2:34 pm -
Pink Sun Drops Says:
Muahahahaha! This is FABULOUS!!
January 30th, 2008 at 2:41 pm -
Virginia Says:
Ooooh Girl Scout Cookies. I LOVE THEM. One night, I came dangerously close to eating an entire box, and only stopped because I seriously felt like I was going to be ill. But they taste so good!! I can’t wait for mine to be delivered.
January 30th, 2008 at 2:57 pm -
distracted.spunk Says:
I’ve never had a girl scout cookie. In fact, until we moved to NJ, I didn’t think they were real.
Also. I was the only person out of five guys who didn’t duck and cover their eyes during that scene in Requiem for a Dream. Yeah. That one.
January 30th, 2008 at 3:05 pm -
Tina Says:
DS, ugh that movie makes me feel so awful on the inside. I watched the whole thing, and I don’t think I can ever sit through it again.
January 30th, 2008 at 3:08 pm -
michelle and the city Says:
seriously? first one EVER? ok you need to get on the ball here tina.
thin mints (chocolate and mint crunchiness)
tagalongs (chocolate & peanut butter)
samoas (coconut & chocolate)you are MISSING OUT! i just order 4 boxes from a co-workers daughter last week :)
January 30th, 2008 at 4:55 pm -
Tina Says:
Omg Michelle, they all sound really really really good.
January 30th, 2008 at 5:17 pm -
ana Says:
I’ve never had a girl scout cookie and after hearing all about your encounter with the sugar rush, I doubt I’ll try it ever. I’m a sucker for all things sweet.
Did you say let’s you choose from 4billion flavors of coffee or tea or hot chocolate, Flavia is my new crush then *fluttering eyes*
January 31st, 2008 at 3:56 am -
Lisa Says:
UGH i know what you mean about being afraid of looking stupid around a machine. I didn’t even go to the kitchen at all my first 2 days here because I had forgotten where it was and I didn’t want to be wandering around!
January 31st, 2008 at 12:22 pm -
Nix Says:
I worked at a Girlscout camp one summer, I’ll let you guess what we ALWAYS had on hand… yeah, you got it. EVERY SINGLE TYPE OF GIRLSCOUT COOKIE. I couldn’t get tofu to save my life, but we had enough tagalongs to kill an elephant. I crave thinmints almost constantly.
January 31st, 2008 at 7:22 pm
P.S. I may have to buy one of those monster coffee maker things. For my house. -
Larissa Says:
I.LOVE.SAMOAS. Oh, that chocolate-coconut-caramel goodness!
I can’t believe some of you have NEVER had Girl Scout cookies. Seriously.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:46 pm -
amy Says:
i don’t know if we have girl scout cookies here… but i had the same problem this week with turkish delight icecream… ohhhh rose goodness :)
i also chopped off all of my hair to this fluffy cute girly boyish ear length sweepy fringe thing, we should have a club!
February 1st, 2008 at 3:26 am -
Princess Pointful Says:
I’ve had Girl Guide cookies… I think they may be a different breed of deliciousness, no caramel, but mmmmm mint & chocolate.
February 1st, 2008 at 3:47 am -
Clink Says:
That was your FIRST Girl Scout cookie? Wow.
You have to try (frozen) Thin Mints before you swear them off for good.
Also, I would like a Flavia machine. For my apartment.
February 1st, 2008 at 11:47 am -
Tina Says:
Hmmm everyone keeps talking about these Thin Mints, I guess I will have to try them too.
February 1st, 2008 at 12:43 pm -
Andrea Says:
Aww man. You need to try the Samoas. Coconut with chocolate… mmmm… so good! If you buy a box we can go to rehab together :D
February 4th, 2008 at 8:06 am -
Tina Says:
Haha, Andrea, deal!
February 4th, 2008 at 8:07 am -
Chelsea Talks Smack Says:
caramel delight???? Is this new?! have I missed this?! I happen to love Girl Scout cookies and will shamelessly buy boxes and boxes and boxes, since I’m “supporting the troops” but really, I’m supporting my sweet tooth.
February 4th, 2008 at 1:41 pm -
Adam Osgood Says:
Oh my god, I love how creepy that picture is.
February 4th, 2008 at 2:29 pm -
Adam Osgood Says:
YOU SHOULD GO ALL THE WAY WITH IT!
February 4th, 2008 at 2:30 pm -
elysa Says:
this is so funny. first off I can’t believe you had never tried them before. secondly … you SHOULDN’T HAVE! - which I’m sure you now know. third, your illustration made me laugh before I even read the post
February 6th, 2008 at 1:32 am -
GenPink | Playing catch up (not ketchup) Says:
[...] tried girl scout cookies for the first time ever (craziness) and made me laugh out loud in the [...]
February 6th, 2008 at 1:58 am -
rachel Says:
i totally missed this post. LOL!!!!
February 6th, 2008 at 7:33 am -
willie Says:
Surely just one cookie isn’t that bad?? ;-)
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