the devil incarnate
I tried my first Girl Scout Cookie today, a Caramel Delight. They were sitting in the break room by my office, staring at me, as I was trying to decide between a cup of coffee or green tea. I decided on a hazelnut coffee and as the Flavia* machine was spurting out my coffee I decided to try one of the cookies to see if they were really as good as people always said. The first bite delivered the tastes to my tongue. I felt the sugar enter my blood stream as my pupils dilated Requiem-for-a-Dream style. I had to tackle myself, internally, to keep from grabbing the rest of the box, running into my office, hiding under my desk, and shoving the rest of the cookies into my mouth while rubbing the sticky sugar residue all over my face in the process. Caveman-like grunts would ensue. I grabbed my cup of coffee with shaking hands and whimpered back to my office. I probably need to check myself into rehab now, but at least I have found out that I can never order Girl Scout Cookies from anyone, ever.
* Flavia is a giant robot coffee maker that lets you pick from about 4 billion different flavors of coffee or tea or hot chocolate and then makes single servings of your choice. When I first started my job I spent about 3 months fearing this machine and not stepping anywhere near it. I didn’t want to look stupid trying to figure out how to make a cup of coffee. Finally one day I saw someone using it and watched them intently without seeming too creepy. Then when no one was around, I experimented pushing all of the different choices and now I can have whatever I feel like that day.
So to recap, having five different flavors of coffee and tea each day = good; Girl Scout Cookies = bad.
No related posts.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 30th, 2008 at 1:06 pm and is filed under the adventures.
1:30 pm on January 30th, 2008
OK, you lost me at Girl Scout Cookies. Do you know I have been craving the hell out of them recently? And then I read something where you can pre-order them online before they officially go on sale in March? CRAZY.
1:32 pm on January 30th, 2008
Holy crap, don’t tell me stuff like that!
1:55 pm on January 30th, 2008
I’ve never had a girlscout cookie either and now i’m upset as i feel like I’m missing out. My mouth is watering, I feel like the cookie monster, inside my head there’s a deep voice going “COOKIES! COOKIES!” Probably a good thing I don’t have access to any!
2:00 pm on January 30th, 2008
Oh wow, I haven’t had a Girl Scout cookie in YEARS but now? all I can think about is a big box of Thin Mints. Jeez. Thanks…
2:34 pm on January 30th, 2008
1st girl scout cookie evar? How is that possible!
Plus, I’m insanely jealous of your coffee machine. My lame-cheap-ass work won’t even buy plain regular coffee. Oh woe.
2:41 pm on January 30th, 2008
Muahahahaha! This is FABULOUS!!
2:57 pm on January 30th, 2008
Ooooh Girl Scout Cookies. I LOVE THEM. One night, I came dangerously close to eating an entire box, and only stopped because I seriously felt like I was going to be ill. But they taste so good!! I can’t wait for mine to be delivered.
3:05 pm on January 30th, 2008
I’ve never had a girl scout cookie. In fact, until we moved to NJ, I didn’t think they were real.
Also. I was the only person out of five guys who didn’t duck and cover their eyes during that scene in Requiem for a Dream. Yeah. That one.
3:08 pm on January 30th, 2008
DS, ugh that movie makes me feel so awful on the inside. I watched the whole thing, and I don’t think I can ever sit through it again.
4:55 pm on January 30th, 2008
seriously? first one EVER? ok you need to get on the ball here tina.
thin mints (chocolate and mint crunchiness)
tagalongs (chocolate & peanut butter)
samoas (coconut & chocolate)
you are MISSING OUT! i just order 4 boxes from a co-workers daughter last week :)
5:17 pm on January 30th, 2008
Omg Michelle, they all sound really really really good.
3:56 am on January 31st, 2008
I’ve never had a girl scout cookie and after hearing all about your encounter with the sugar rush, I doubt I’ll try it ever. I’m a sucker for all things sweet.
Did you say let’s you choose from 4billion flavors of coffee or tea or hot chocolate, Flavia is my new crush then *fluttering eyes*
12:22 pm on January 31st, 2008
UGH i know what you mean about being afraid of looking stupid around a machine. I didn’t even go to the kitchen at all my first 2 days here because I had forgotten where it was and I didn’t want to be wandering around!
7:22 pm on January 31st, 2008
I worked at a Girlscout camp one summer, I’ll let you guess what we ALWAYS had on hand… yeah, you got it. EVERY SINGLE TYPE OF GIRLSCOUT COOKIE. I couldn’t get tofu to save my life, but we had enough tagalongs to kill an elephant. I crave thinmints almost constantly.
P.S. I may have to buy one of those monster coffee maker things. For my house.
9:46 pm on January 31st, 2008
I.LOVE.SAMOAS. Oh, that chocolate-coconut-caramel goodness!
I can’t believe some of you have NEVER had Girl Scout cookies. Seriously.
3:26 am on February 1st, 2008
i don’t know if we have girl scout cookies here… but i had the same problem this week with turkish delight icecream… ohhhh rose goodness :)
i also chopped off all of my hair to this fluffy cute girly boyish ear length sweepy fringe thing, we should have a club!
3:47 am on February 1st, 2008
I’ve had Girl Guide cookies… I think they may be a different breed of deliciousness, no caramel, but mmmmm mint & chocolate.
11:47 am on February 1st, 2008
That was your FIRST Girl Scout cookie? Wow.
You have to try (frozen) Thin Mints before you swear them off for good.
Also, I would like a Flavia machine. For my apartment.
12:43 pm on February 1st, 2008
Hmmm everyone keeps talking about these Thin Mints, I guess I will have to try them too.
8:06 am on February 4th, 2008
Aww man. You need to try the Samoas. Coconut with chocolate… mmmm… so good! If you buy a box we can go to rehab together :D
8:07 am on February 4th, 2008
Haha, Andrea, deal!
1:41 pm on February 4th, 2008
caramel delight???? Is this new?! have I missed this?! I happen to love Girl Scout cookies and will shamelessly buy boxes and boxes and boxes, since I’m “supporting the troops” but really, I’m supporting my sweet tooth.
2:29 pm on February 4th, 2008
Oh my god, I love how creepy that picture is.
2:30 pm on February 4th, 2008
YOU SHOULD GO ALL THE WAY WITH IT!
1:32 am on February 6th, 2008
this is so funny. first off I can’t believe you had never tried them before. secondly … you SHOULDN’T HAVE! – which I’m sure you now know. third, your illustration made me laugh before I even read the post
1:58 am on February 6th, 2008
[...] tried girl scout cookies for the first time ever (craziness) and made me laugh out loud in the [...]
7:33 am on February 6th, 2008
i totally missed this post. LOL!!!!
11:31 am on April 21st, 2008
Surely just one cookie isn’t that bad?? ;-)
5:03 am on April 22nd, 2008
Great illustration! And – very amusing story!